"I Would Die" (12.20.2013)

But the thing is, you don't.

What frightens is not Death,
it's having to emerge, the lone survivor,
from the burning wreckage.
It's remembering the closeness of the bomb,
the crash of concrete and the crush of brick.
It's breathing in the dust and rubble and saying,
"This is my home.
This is where I will live."

3 Arguments Pro-Choicers (and Pro-Lifers!) Need to STOP Making!

For my entire life (but especially since becoming pregnant), I have been adamantly Pro-Life. This may come as a surprise to some, but I also consider myself a feminist and (in some ways, at least) rather liberal.

I am Pro-Life not because I believe that women shouldn't have to right to control their bodies, but because I believe they should not have the right to create someone and then kill that someone simply because another life would be inconvenient.

Best Books of 2013

I do a lot of reading and I have developed the rather obsessive habit of writing down a list of every book I read, along with a rating system of how much I liked it (yes, I am a huge nerd). No stars means the book was good enough to finish, but didn't blow me away. One star means the book kept me reading. Two stars means I was in awe of the plot, writing, or characters and I would wholeheartedly recommend it. Three stars means the same as two stars, but that it also made me cry (less than a dozen books have ever gotten this rating).

These were the best (but not all of the) books I read during the year 2013. These are not (all) books that were published in 2013.

A Letter From My Daughter

This year for my dad's 60th (!!!) birthday, my mom wanted to do something special to celebrate him. My dad is very introverted and reserved, so I suggested that we contact his friends and family around the country and have them write a letter to him. We told them that they could share a memory, what they felt about him, how much he meant to them...whatever they wanted. 

I received the letters in my mailbox and e-mail inbox and was so touched by the kind and loving words everyone had for such an amazing man. I was also really awakened by the fact that most people don't get to hear these types of things at all, because they only spoken at funerals. It really brought home the point that we need to tell people how we feel about them when they are still here.

It also reminded me that I will never get to hear what my daughter feels about me.

Wrestling With God

Naturally, there are many difficult aspects to grieving your child. There's the pain of loss. Coping with losing the "rest of your life." Dealing with the worries and realities of continuing to grow your family and have more children. The anxiety of going to shopping malls and amusement parks and museums and know that somebody, some horribly ignorant fool, will bring their baby along and you'll have to deal with seeing a happy family that isn't your own. Almost none of these hold a candle to theological struggles.

My Secret Formula for Perfect Homemade Pizza

I've been trying out homemade pizza a few different ways lately, trying to see what the best/tastiest/easiest method would be. We tried it on the grill (HARD!), on an upside-down baking sheet (like a DIY Pizza stone) and on a pizza pan. I tried different recipes and different methods of stretching out the dough.

Ladies and gentlemen...I've discovered my secret formula!

Christmas Decorations!

I spent ALL DAY decorating for Christmas yesterday. And when I say "all day," I really mean it. I started around 10am and finished decorating the tree around 9:30pm (with breaks for cooking meals and eating and watching old episodes of '30 Rock' on Netflix, of course). Much of this time included a lot of pre-planning for organizing my decorations a little better when I put them away at the end of the month. Our guest room closet is literally just the Christmas decoration closet because there is no room for anything else. I thought if I put things in clearly-labeled plastic totes we could put everything in the attic and leave the closet free for guests. Now we only need some attic stairs....