The 1st anniversary of Ava's passing came and went, and we "celebrated" (for lack of a better word) by unveiling her new grave marker.
In the Jewish tradition, you typically wait a year before installing the memorial and there is a small, casual ceremony of consecrating the marker and laying stones to acknowledge that you visited. Our parents as well as D's sister and her husband all came out to the gravesite to unveil the marker for the first time (the toy was a gift from us for her 1st birthday, four days earlier). I could not be more pleased with how it turned out! Most of the markers in her section of the cemetery have brass plaques on top of the granite, but we actually prefer it with just the granite.
In the Jewish tradition, you typically wait a year before installing the memorial and there is a small, casual ceremony of consecrating the marker and laying stones to acknowledge that you visited. Our parents as well as D's sister and her husband all came out to the gravesite to unveil the marker for the first time (the toy was a gift from us for her 1st birthday, four days earlier). I could not be more pleased with how it turned out! Most of the markers in her section of the cemetery have brass plaques on top of the granite, but we actually prefer it with just the granite.
We went with a hummingbird engraving, since Ava means "little bird" and the hummingbird is the smallest bird there is. Also because I have only ever seen two hummingbirds in Florida in my entire life and both of them have been this year, in our backyard, when both D and I were together. I think Ava sent them to let us know she is okay and is watching over us, so I picked a hummingbird to watch over her. Hummingbirds are also a common symbol of infant loss, as they only touch down for a moment before flying away.
Even though the grave marker (in some ways) makes Ava's death seem more final, I love having a permanent symbol of her life. After I came home from the hospital, I mourned not having any results of my pregnancy just as much as I mourned her. It felt so weird to go through 7 months of being pregnant and 4 tense days in the hospital only to come home with...nothing. Having a heavy block of stone is a beautifully permanent memorial to Ava's life.
It is also why I hope my C-section scar won't fade away. I never got any stretch marks, so there is no other bodily proof that I actually carried a baby. My scar is still very red and very visible, which I love. I hope it never goes away and I hate hearing women complain about how their bodies will never look the same again. It is hard, beautiful, rewarding work to carry and give birth to a baby. Why wouldn't you want to celebrate that?
No comments:
Post a Comment