What Gay People Need to Know About Christians

In recent years (well, probably since forever, really), there has been a lot of debate about gay marriage. You know this already. You know there is the one side that supports gay marriage because this is an enlightened age and we have no place for hate and judgment. You know that there is the other side that is against gay marriage because they are hateful and don't understand anything beyond their own nose. 

You've got it all wrong.

The media simplifies this subject by dividing the opponents into the "intolerant" and the "enlightened," and it is easy to see Christians (who are the "intolerant" ones, natch) as a bunch of backward, hatemongerers who want nothing more than to see all their detractors wiped from the face of the earth. 

Groups like the Westboro Baptist Church and Fox News have done their part to strengthen these arguments by indeed making us look like a bunch of backward hatemongerers, but I think it's time that gays and their supporters understand what real Christians believe. 

And it's not as simple as the media would have you think.

Christians (well, sane ones, anyway) don't support or oppose things because they hate people. In fact, real Christians don't hate anyone at all. We don't hate gays or unwed mothers or even terrorists, because God doesn't. We have been taught to love, commanded to love. So we do (or at least we try).

It's too easy to say that Christians hate gays and that's why they want to deny them the right to marry. But, not only is this not true, it doesn't delve far enough into their hearts. Christians who are against gay marriage take that stance for one reason and one reason only: because it's written in the Bible.

That's it. No other reason. True, some of the more ignorant Christians (the "fake" ones) might convert those verses into hatred for gays. But, to be perfectly honest with you, a lot of us are conflicted.

Christians don't want to deny their gay friends and relatives the joys that comes from falling in love and getting married. They don't want to restrict marriage to only heteros because of spite. They don't want to boycott their own children's weddings. They're not even against homosexuality because it is "abnormal" (because lots of diseases--cerebral palsy, dwarfism, albinism, blindness, etc.--stray from the "normal" end of the spectrum and we don't deny any of these people the right to marry). 

Christians are against homosexuality because their Bibles say it is wrong. Simple as that.

Take Hinduism, for example. The true believers in India don't eat beef and let cows roam freely in the streets because they believe cows are sacred gods. I don't believe this and think this practice is ridiculous. The American Beef Council would, I'm sure, much rather see Hindus living in America change their beliefs and start buying filet mignon. But no one speaks out against them.

That is their belief and--much as you might disagree with it--you understand where they are coming from, and perhaps even respect their commitment to the religion they have chosen.

Christians are not afforded the same understanding when it comes to our beliefs. (Note: I'm not saying I'm surprised by this.)

This is what gay people need to know about Christians: that we are simply holding fast to the belief system we have chosen. When we do otherwise, that is called hypocrisy (so no, it is not justifiable for you to use those instances as evidence that all of our beliefs are unsound).

Yes, there are some people (Christian or not) who do hate gays. Don't listen to them.

The rest of the Christian world--the real ones, the ones with God's love in them--are so torn. We want to love our brothers and sisters on earth. But we cannot wrap our heads around their homosexuality. How do we love them and not address what many would call their most glaring sin? How do we show God's love while simultaneously barring them from any kind of romantic love? Some even go so far as to try to retranslate the Bible, hoping to find another meaning to the verses that condemn homosexuality.

But, ultimately, 2,000 years of theological tradition wins out. And when it comes down to "what God says" and "what the world says," a true Christian picks God every time.    

So, don't call us "homophobic." We are not "scared" of gays. And we don't "hate" them. 

We just love God more.

That being said, is it fair of us to push our religious beliefs on a world that didn't make that same commitment? Would it be fair for a Hindu president (if we had one) to ban the sale of beef in America because his religion says it's wrong? Or a Jewish president to outlaw bacon? (Can you imagine the riots?! And you thought people were upset about the gay marriage debate!)

Perhaps, in a country that has built-in laws supporting the separation of Church and State, it would be better to divide this debate into separate courts. Let the Supreme Court judge for the country, and let the Church judge for the Church.

Hey, it's what we do with baptism.