3 Arguments Pro-Choicers (and Pro-Lifers!) Need to STOP Making!

For my entire life (but especially since becoming pregnant), I have been adamantly Pro-Life. This may come as a surprise to some, but I also consider myself a feminist and (in some ways, at least) rather liberal.

I am Pro-Life not because I believe that women shouldn't have to right to control their bodies, but because I believe they should not have the right to create someone and then kill that someone simply because another life would be inconvenient.

I am Pro-Life because I know firsthand that many people are unable to have (or keep) babies that they desperately want; I have come to realize the value in babies.

I am Pro-Life because I believe that the murder of innocent children is wrong.

I hear many arguments both for and against abortion, and am frankly appalled by the logic (or lack thereof) that many people employ. So, here are the arguments that I believe need to STOP NOW.

Pro-Life

1. Using Logic Rather than Being Genuine

There are some really punchy arguments that many Pro-Lifers use to get people to see their way. They use fake conversations:

"God, send someone to cure cancer."
"I did, but you aborted them."

They use Bible verses and quotes from the Pope or Mother Theresa to make their point. But this type of argument needs to stop.

Because what if the person hearing it isn't a Christian? They won't care what the Bible says about abortion. Think of what would happen if a Muslim on the street pointed out a verse from the Koran that said you couldn't eat bacon anymore. Would you be convinced? Of course not! For people who aren't in that faith, weaseling your way out of an uncomfortable argument (or ignoring it completely) is all too easy.

"Logical" arguments don't work because they can too easily be refuted and are NOT the real reason we are against abortion. (Ex: Most people will respond "God, send someone to cure cancer." "I did, but you forced them to drop out of college to raise an unwanted baby.") We are against it because it's murder. Even if that baby grows up to become a drug addict or a murderer themselves, we will fight for their right to live because they at least deserve a chance.

So, please stop trying to "reason" someone out their pro-choice views. Instead, show them the ultrasound that shows a baby's heart beating at 5 weeks along (a week before many ob/gyns will even perform your first prenatal exam). Show them what the process of abortion looks like. Show them what an aborted fetus looks like. Let the real reason (murder) speak for itself.

2. Not Allowing For Birth Control.

Sorry to burst your Sunday-school bubble, but some of the "best" children will experiment with sex during high school. Teaching only abstinence won't work, because kids are going to have sex and then get pregnant because no one informed them how to use a condom. That's like teaching a driver's ed course that consists only of "cars are dangerous, don't get behind the wheel of a car ever." Kids don't listen to that. And to be honest, given the choice, I would much rather my kids had protected sex rather than unprotected sex (if those are my only two options). We need to be open to the fact that kids WILL have sex, but precautionary measures will reduce the amount of pregnancies (and therefore abortions).

By the way, this goes for married couples, too. I think the church needs to stop telling happily married couples that they need to (often irresponsibly) have "as many children as God wants them to have." After my own experiences with pregnancy, I no longer believe that God controls every aspect of our lives. I think sometimes He just allows things to happen and (for whatever reason) doesn't interfere. My dad and I were having a conversation last week about how much we hate the phrase "everything happens for a reason." Because sometimes they don't.

Side Note: I get equally angry hearing the Church and other Pro-Lifers speak out against fertility treatments because you cannot be against the creation of life and call yourself "pro-life." (A friend of mine wrote about her own Christian perspective on IVF and I thank her profusely for doing so!)

3. Caring more about the fetus than the mother.

Pro-Lifers have a bad habit of shoving the mother's fears aside when making our arguments. We need to acknowledge the pain and hurt the birth mother may be feeling. She is scared, possibly lonely or threatened (by boyfriend, parents, etc.), and may just need someone to drop the angry diatribes and come up with a gentle, reasonable solution to her fears.

Pro-Lifers also need to be more compassionate when it comes to pregnancy by rape. Despite what congressmen say, it does happen and even a "legitimate" rape can result in a pregnancy. What we need to focus on is a) reminding the mother that the baby is hers as well, b) reminding her that she doesn't have to raise the baby if she doesn't want to, plenty of other parents would be happy to raise the child (raises hand), and c) doing more outreach programs toward young boys to prevent rapes from happening. If rape is one of the causes that contribute to abortions, we should be fighting that cause as much as the result.

So many people view Pro-Lifers as hypocritical, only caring about people when they're fetuses and stopping all support (welfare, food stamps) once they have been born. Many people choose abortion because they aren't financially stable enough to support themselves, much less a child. Giving aid and showing compassion to the poor and uneducated is not only the right thing to do, but can prevent many of the dire financial situations that lead to abortions.

Pro-Choice

1. Making the Issue About "Women's Rights."

As I mentioned before, I consider myself to be a feminist, but I think I need to clarify what I mean by that. When feminism first evolved, it was a revolution against the way women were being treated. We couldn't vote (in America) until the 1920's, we weren't welcomed into many academic programs, we still don't get paid as much as men. So when I call myself a "feminist," I simply mean that women should get the same rights as everyone else. But first and foremost, we as a community need to be concerned with HUMAN rights.

Turning abortion into an issue of "women's rights" ignores men completely. (And men are definitely part of the equation of pregnancy). Why don't fathers get a say in what happens to their children? Plenty of cases occur when the woman is the one that wants the abortion and the man wants to keep his child. What about the rights of the little man or woman inside the mother's womb?

Or what about that old fallback argument: "women have the right to control their bodies." You know what? I agree, but the fetus is not the woman's body. I've been pregnant. And I carried a tiny woman. But my daughter was not "my body." She had completely different DNA. She was attached to my body, but she wasn't a part of me. People will liken an unwanted pregnancy to slavery or kidnapping, reasoning that no one (fetus or not, I'm assuming) can force your body to do things you don't want it to do. (Like carry a child, I'm assuming.) But pregnancy doesn't have any correlating situation that you can use for comparison, no matter how far you stretch. I think that if you want to control your body, do it before you have sex and keep your legs closed.

2. Keeping women in the dark about abortion procedures.

There have been so many congressional hearings and debates about whether women should have to get an ultrasound before an abortion, and the "pro-choice" community was enraged. I don't understand this at all. I had a VEIN shut down (not even an autonomous being with its own heartbeat) and the doctor explained everything: what would be done, what it would feel like, what would happen to the vein. Women about to have an abortion (which they refer to as a "medical procedure") should be equally informed about what is about to happen.

If pro-choicers are scared about what decisions the pregnant person will make after seeing an ultrasound, then they are not respecting the woman's choice to change her mind and are then more pro-abortion than pro-choice. Furthermore, I think all people (not just women) should learn about what happens during an abortion procedure. I'm willing to bet a lot of minds would be changed.

Besdies, properly performed ultrasounds can also save the lives of wanted pregnancies. In a Welsh hospital last year, it was revealed that the medical staff was foregoing the more accurate transvaginal ultrasounds for external ultrasounds and informed HUNDREDS of patients that their babies didn't have heartbeats. These heartbroken mothers went on to have d&c's to remove the "dead" fetus. Which begs the question: If these women had had proper ultrasounds, how many of them would have given birth to a healthy, loved baby?

3. "Accidental" pregnancy.

This is the #1 reason people put forth for having an abortion: the unwanted pregnancy. "She got pregnant without meaning to," they say. "Don't let her throw her life away by becoming a teenage mother."

I'm sorry, but with the exception of rape, no one gets pregnant by "accident." You don't slip and fall onto someone's penis. Even if you are on birth control pills, they are only effective 99.9% of the time. And that's if you're taking them correctly. There is still a .1% chance you will get pregnant. Same with condoms. If you really don't want to take that risk, DON'T. Say no or else live with the consequences.

I understand that many (probably, most) people will not be convinced of the evil of abortion by reading this blog. Maybe no one will even find it. I wish I could change the minds of everyone on earth, but I can't. I can only change my own life. But if you're reading this and you still aren't convinced, I urge you to do your own research. Look at real, undoctored photos of aborted babies. Look at photos and videos of those babies in the womb at the same developmental age. Take a look at this video of a beating heart in a 5 week old fetus.  

Take the time to really research what you believe and why you believe it. And be open to learning some things that just may make you change your mind.